Roadkill

I'm back from vacation. We managed to drive a little over 1000 miles over the last week and a half which gave me plenty of opportunity to observe the various types of drivers we get on the interstate highways. Here's a sampling:

1. Mr. I-Have-To-Be-In-Front:
This is the guy who will go screaming past you, pull in less than half a car length in front of you, and then slow down so he's going slower than you were. God forbid you pass him - he'll just do it again...

2. Mr. But-I-Might-Get-Stuck-Behind-Someone-Slower-Than-Me:
This one likes to drive in the left hand lane going 5mph under the speed limit (remember we drive on the right here).

3. Mr. I-Have-Too-Much-Testosterone-Truckdriver:
He tries to pass another truck... while going up a mountain. Consequently both he and the truck he's trying to pass are doing about 10mph in a 65mph zone.

4. Mr. But-I'm-Going-Faster!:
This is the guy who passes people because he's going 0.001mph faster than they are. And he doesn't speed up to pass. On average it takes him about 10 miles to pass a small sedan. You're really unlucky if you're behind him when he tries to pass an eighteen wheeler...

And finally,
5. Mr. God-Is-My-Co-Pilot:
I swear, people with "God is my co-pilot" bumper stickers are some of the worst drivers in the world. I think there are two reasons for this. First, I don't believe there are any cars in heaven. Therefore God doesn't have a license! Secondly, pilot is the term used for the person flying a plane or guiding a ship into harbor. Not for someone driving a car. So people with these bumper stickers are leaving the driving to a being with no license who thinks the car is a plane or a boat...

We survived anyway.