Herein I present Odyssey's
Presentation Impact Scale Summing Offending Factors Factor*,
hereafter shortened to PISSOFF.
It's very simple really,
where Offending Factors are determined by, but are not limited to:
- Total number of slides exceeding number of minutes allotted for presentation (Offending Factor = [Total Number of Slides - 0.9*(Minutes Allotted)]2)
- Number of slides in presentation speaker skips over during presentation
- Number of figures the speaker does not refer to/explain
- Number of tables (or other sections) with text too small to read
- Number of tables with too much text to read
- Number of times speaker flicks backwards and forwards through slides in order to find the one he wants to talk about
- Number of slides that have nothing to do with the topic being presented
- Not addressing the audience (+10 to 20 depending upon severity)
- Mumbling (+10 to 20 depending upon severity)
- Assuming everyone in the audience is familiar with the background of the topic (+10 to 20 depending upon severity)
- Presenting more than one story (+20 for the first additional story, +40 for the second, +1000 for the third and subsequent stories)
- Speaker waving the laser-pointer around like a madman (+5 to 10 depending upon severity)
- Use of yellow on a white background (+10 per instance)
- Use of red text on a blue background (+10 per slide)
- Using canned Powerpoint backgrounds (+10 for simple backgrounds up to +40 for complex backgrounds)
- Use of canned Powerpoint background that is animated (+200)
- Excessive use of animation (+10 to +50 depending upon severity)
- Speaking with their back to the audience (+20)
- Number of "in case they ask that question" slides appended to the end of the presentation
- Running over the allotted time (add 10x[Number of Minutes Over]2/(Minutes Allotted))
- Speaker appears bored (+100)
- Use of the phrase "this is really fascinating work, but I don't have time to tell you about it", or anything similar (+20 per instance)
- Figures/movies that don't work because the speaker didn't bother to try them out beforehand (+10 per instance)
Feel free to suggest more Offending Factors. I know there are many, many more - I'm too brain-dead to think of them right now.
The PISSOFF scale runs from zero for an excellent speaker to greater than one for a speaker who should never, ever be asked to present again.
I estimate yesterday's speaker would have a PISSOFF score of about 0.9...
* Yes, yes, I know it sounds horribly redundant etc.